Pushing Yourself

A common misconception is that others can make you do something. Like the old adage you can lead a mile to water but you can’t make it drink.

This is a hard lesson that I’ve learned since starting this blog. I used to get mad when people would say you don’t push yourself. I would respond by cussing and saying you don’t help me.

But over the course of a few months something began to shift I became refueled with a desire to better myself no matter the cost. And by doing it on my own I had a better sense of accomplishment. 

Today I rode my bike to my sisters without experiencing a full blown panic attack and it felt liberating to just enjoy the scenery instead of focusing on the negative. 

A few months ago I was miserable and I had so much going for me I was in school I had someone who I cared for but I wasn’t getting better I was getting worse. 

But then everything changed I thought I lost everything but even though it seemed that way I gained determination and a fighting spirit I have not had in a long time. 

I started writing music again I go out and I face things I thought I couldn’t. I found a silver lining. I made some new friends. And although I am not where I want to be today I’m making progress towards that goal. In the next few months I will be going back to school and I’m determined to finish my degree. 

Someone complained that I never pushed them to higher lengths. I supported them just like they supported me but I can’t make someone do something. I can’t make an addict stop being an addict. The only person I can change is myself and sometimes that’s all we can ask for. 

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